When to Make Private News Public

HBR’s fictionalized case studies present dilemmas faced by leaders in real companies and offer solutions from experts. This one is based on the HBS Case Study “Michelle Levene” (case no. 406083), by Tiziana Casciaro and Victoria W. Winston, which is available at hbr.org. Hear Tiziana Casciaro discuss this case study. Download this podcast “Anything for you?” the waiter asked Betsy Sugarman. She and Zach exchanged glances. “No, I’m all set,” Betsy said. “Just the menu.” She sighed and turned to her husband. “It doesn’t feel quite the same to celebrate without wine.” “I’ll stop drinking, too, if you want—in solidarity,” Zach said. Betsy smiled feebly. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be pregnant. She absolutely did. She had always wanted children. She just hadn’t expected it to happen so quickly. “You should be thrilled, Bets, wine or not. This is exciting. The next phase of our life.” Zach took her hand in his. He’d suggested this dinner at their favorite restaurant, Luna Park, because it was where they toasted all their milestones: their engagement, Betsy’s acceptance to business school, Zach’s landing his first big client after he started his own media production company. It seemed only appropriate to celebrate the baby news here, too. But Betsy was feeling more anxious than festive. “I am happy,” she said. “I really am. I’m just not sure about the timing. And yes, I know, it’s never exactly the right time. But this job—it’s my dream job.” “And you’re still going to get it,” Zach said. “There’s no reason why the head of overseas operations can’t also be a mom.” Betsy had worked at Caston Pharma, a biotech firm south of San Francisco, ever since graduating from Stanford Business School five years earlier. At first she’d been disappointed with the company. It wasn’t as fast-paced as she’d expected, and opportunities to move up were few and far between. Her mentors had told her to trust the system, to be patient, to wait for the right opportunity. Finally, a few months earlier, she had found it. Tom DeHart, the president of Caston’s international division, wanted a short-term director of overseas operations, someone who would spend the next 18 to 24 months traveling frequently to Caston’s non-U.S. entities. The role came with a mandate to build ties and learn the intricacies of the global business while working toward something even bigger and better: a senior-level line management position abroad. Betsy had been interviewing with Tom, and two weeks before, he’d told her she was the front-runner for the job. This wasn’t just the perfect career opportunity. It was what Betsy and Zach wanted in life: to live, work, and eventually raise a family overseas. Zach was from Australia, and they’d met in Indonesia, in the Peace Corps, right after college. In the kitchen of their Noe Valley apartment they kept a map of the world and put pins in places where they would consider living. There were so many of them that Zach had jokingly suggested they start putting the pins in places they wouldn’t consider instead. The waiter put Zach’s Pinot Noir in front of him. Zach raised it for a toast, but Betsy looked down at the table. “Bets, you’ve got to shake this,” Zach said. “You are the master of making things possible. We’ll figure it all out. Anyway, I thought you said Tom was a parent. Won’t he understand?” “He might. I don’t know him all that well. He seems like a great guy, but I don’t want to disappoint him. He acted very excited about my taking the job last time we spoke. We both were.” “What did he say, exactly?” “He talked a lot about the travel, and wanted to be sure I was all right with it. He said it can be really hard—that I would need a ton of stamina. What am I going to tell him?” “OK, let’s think this through. What are the arguments for and against telling him you’re pregnant?” Zach took a cocktail napkin, turned it over, and drew a line down the middle, writing “Pros” on one side and “Cons” on the other. Betsy had done this sort of thing numerous times for him. She was the organized one in the relationship. She used a spreadsheet to plan vacations, map out career plans, arrange summer and winter clothes. Betsy appreciated how hard Zach was trying, but she couldn’t muster the energy to play along. “I’m just not sure I can have a baby and do this job,” she said. A Higher Standard The next morning Betsy dropped off her laptop at her desk, poured herself a decaf coffee (though she desperately wanted a regular one), and walked up to the third floor to see Cara Quinn, one of the HR directors. Winded, she paused a moment outside Cara’s door, surprised at how tired she felt so early in the pregnancy. “Betsy, what are you doing?” Cara asked, spying her in the hallway. Cara was known around the company for being tough and incredibly efficient. Her office was perfectly tidy, nothing out of place. She made Betsy look like a slob, and that wasn’t easy. “I’m wondering if you know when Tom will make his decision,” Betsy said. “Why? You aren’t having second thoughts, are you?” “No, no. I just want to be sure I’m prepared.” Betsy looked at the empty chair in the room. Cara caught her gaze but didn’t invite her to sit. “I’m glad to hear that, because I think you’re the right person for this job,” Cara said. “Perfect, in fact. You’re a hard worker—focused and committed. You can handle the pressure. Tom needs someone who is going to see this thing through.” “Yes—as I’ve said all along, it’s exactly what I’ve been waiting for.” “Good. Tom’s travel schedule isn’t set yet, but he should be back next week. Be sure you’ve got your ducks in a row. Tom likes you and he knows your track record, but you still have to prove yourself. Lots of other people are vying for this job. It’s not fair, of course, but as women, we have to work harder than everyone else. We’re held to a higher standard. Not just at Caston but everywhere.” Betsy wasn’t sure she agreed, so she didn’t say anything. “I have a meeting now,” Cara said. “Are we finished here?” “I’ll Feel Like a Fraud” Back at her desk, Betsy sent an e-mail to her friend Marissa Guallart, asking if she was free for lunch. The two women had started at Caston on the same day, and even though they were now in different divisions, they still relied on each other for career advice. When Marissa arrived at her office, Betsy asked her to come in and shut the door. “Uh-oh, you never ask me to shut the door,” her friend said, sitting down. Betsy told her about the pregnancy. “Congratulations!” Marissa stood up to hug her. “That’s wonderful.” “I know, I’m excited…Actually, part of me is excited and the other part is terrified.” “I’m barely pregnant,” Betsy said. “I haven’t even told my sister yet. I don’t want to tell Tom.” “Wait—isn’t this what you and Zach wanted?” “Yes. But the timing isn’t good.” “It never is,” Marissa said. She and her partner, Shannon, had two kids under the age of two. They had both wanted to be pregnant, so they’d tried at the same time and ended up having their two girls just three months apart. “Well, can you still do the job?” Betsy appreciated how quickly Marissa turned to the practical. It was one reason they got along so well. “Yes, I think so,” she said. “I was up last night analyzing it. The job would start next month. I could travel for at least the next three months and work right up to my maternity leave—assuming all goes well, of course.” “And would you take the full four months of leave?” Marissa asked. Caston had a very generous maternity policy by U.S. standards. “I’d want to. And then, once I was back, I’d have to be on the road a lot. But Zach’s schedule is flexible. He and the baby could come with me some of the time. He’s game for it.” “I see you’ve thought it all through, as usual,” Marissa said. “So what’s the problem?” “I have to figure out what to tell Tom.” “Tell him what you just told me. You’re pregnant, but you’re very excited about the job, and here’s how you’d make it work. What else is there to say?” “But I’m barely pregnant. I haven’t even told my sister yet. I don’t want to tell Tom.” “Well, you know me, I’m an open book, even at the office. But I get that you’re closer to the chest about these things.” Zach had always attributed Betsy’s penchant for privacy to her East Coast upbringing. “Why don’t you tell HR first and see what they say?” “Tom’s working with Cara on this search.” “Oh. She’s scary.” “Besides, I don’t want to tell anyone else. My sister has had two miscarriages. I just want to be sure everything’s OK first.” Betsy put her head in her hands. “But if I don’t tell Tom now and he gives me the job, I’ll feel like a fraud. If I tell him two months in, he’ll assume that I knew I was pregnant.” “Man, they sure don’t teach you how to handle these things in business school,” Marissa said. None of His Business When Betsy saw that her mother was calling on her BlackBerry, she picked up immediately. They’d been playing phone tag for a week now, since their first conversation about the baby. “Mom.” “Hey, honey. I’m on my way into Boston for a meeting. Can we talk now?” Betsy said she needed advice from her, not only as a mother but also as a boss. Her mother and her grandmother had always worked, helping to run the family business: a chain of hardware stores in the Northeast. Both the older women were role models for Betsy; they had taught and shown her that being a working mother wasn’t always easy, but it was definitely worth it. “I just heard that Tom’s going to be in the office on Monday,” Betsy said, “and he wants to make a decision by the end of the week. I have to decide what I’m going to say to him.” “Say ‘I’m ready for the opportunity and I can’t wait to get started,’” her mother replied. “But, Mom, isn’t that almost like lying? I’m not telling him the whole truth.” “Please, Betsy. I raised you to be honest—not to shoot yourself in the foot.” “Wouldn’t you want to know if Heather was pregnant? If she was going to need to take time off?” Heather was the head buyer for the family’s stores. She spent most of her time on the road at trade shows. “I’d want to know when Heather was ready to tell me. Given what’s happened with your sister, you can’t take this for granted. What if you tell Tom and then in a few weeks you have bad news? It’s none of his business.” “I know, I know. That’s what Zach says.” “Betsy, you aren’t the first working woman to get pregnant. It happens all the time, and we all adjust. You said last week that you and Zach had figured it out. It sounded to me like you have a good plan.” “I know, but I’m not sure Tom will see it that way. And there are a lot of other people—people without kids—who want this job.” “All the more reason to keep this to yourself for now. You’ve been a superstar at Caston. Sure, Tom may be irked when you do tell him, but you will already be doing the job better than anyone else could. Soon he won’t care if you told or didn’t tell. He’ll just be happy to have you on his team. He’ll do whatever he can to keep you.” Betsy knew her mother was biased, but she appreciated the encouragement. Still, she wasn’t sure. “Maybe I should step aside,” she said. “Maybe it’s just bad timing.” “Sweetheart, that doesn’t sound like you. You love a challenge. You said yourself that this job is a once-in-a-career opportunity. I’d hate to see you pass it up.” What Would You Do? Some advice from the HBR.org community Betsy should wait until Tom offers her the job and then tell him her news. If she has a solid plan for managing the role and the pregnancy, that should satisfy Tom. If it doesn’t, his response is an important predictor of her future with the company. Her need to juggle won’t end after the pregnancy. Avni Patel Thompson, senior strategy manager, Adidas China I was in a similar situation seven years ago, and I strongly recommend that Betsy tell Tom before he gives her the job. She should say that she understands this may change his perspective on her promotion but that she wouldn’t feel right concealing it, and then let the chips fall where they may. Hiding her news compromises trust and good faith. As a new mom, Betsy is going to need both from Tom. Elizabeth Bramson-Boudreau, director of industry publishing, the Economist Intelligence Unit Because of her family history of miscarriages, Betsy should not tell Tom until she knows more about her pregnancy. If she shares the news, he may decide that she can’t do the required travel. If she miscarries, then she’ll have to deal with the emotional strain of losing a child and being passed over for the job. Christopher Morris, business development, msnbc.com Should Betsy tell Tom she’s pregnant? The Experts Respond Mary B. Cranston is the firm senior partner at Pillsbury Winthrop Shaw Pittman and a director at Visa, International Rectifier, GrafTech International, Exponent, and Juniper Networks. Betsy is newly pregnant and hesitant to share the news with anyone but those closest to her. That being the case, her mother is right: It’s none of Tom’s business. She doesn’t need to inform him until she’s ready to make the news public, because it doesn’t affect her ability to do the job. When she does feel comfortable about announcing the pregnancy, she should present a well-thought-out game plan for handling her job responsibilities during maternity leave and as a new mother. She may not be able to take an extended leave completely free of phone calls and e-mail messages, but with a husband as supportive as hers, she can make it work. Betsy is not being paranoid when she worries that people will question her ability. Plenty of studies show that prejudice against mothers, often called maternal-wall bias, is prevalent in organizations. Working moms are perceived as less capable and committed than other employees. But in a developed country like the United States we all have the right to work and the right to have a child. Betsy can have a baby and continue to build a career in corporate America. Betsy must also consider and address broader gender stereotypes that may hold her back. The perception in U.S. workplaces is that men take charge and women take care. Anytime a woman assumes a high-profile leadership role, people—including the woman herself—challenge it. Betsy’s saying “Maybe I should just step aside” is indicative. Her conversation with Tom, whenever it happens, will go much more smoothly if she is mentally and emotionally secure in the knowledge that she will succeed. When I coach young women, I talk about self-confidence a lot, because it’s one of the few things they can control. As I’ve confronted these biases over the years, I’ve learned to abandon my self-doubt. Men no longer have the power to stop me. Betsy is not being paranoid: Working moms are perceived as less capable and committed than other employees. I had my two children several decades ago. I was working on multiyear legal trials when I became pregnant, so I told the firm partners immediately. I wanted to stay involved, so I proactively figured out how my absence would be covered. At the time, I didn’t know of any law firm with a maternity policy, but I asked for paid leave and got it: eight weeks. There have been tremendous changes since then. A whole industry now exists to support working mothers—to help them continue nursing while at work, to help them find child care. I had to figure it all out from scratch. My daughter, who is a member of Betsy’s generation, waited until the second trimester of her pregnancy, when the chances of miscarriage lessen, before telling her bosses, and she took a paid six-month maternity leave. Despite the misperceptions I mention above, many companies are more concerned about retaining working mothers than ever before. With luck, Caston is that kind of company, and Tom will understand why Betsy decided to share personal news—which should have no effect on her professional success—on her own timetable. Michael Hamilton is a partner and the chief learning and development officer for the Americas at Ernst & Young. If Tom offers Betsy the overseas operations role, she should take it, making clear that she’s excited about the opportunity and has carefully thought through the requirements. She wants her future boss to know first and foremost that she’ll put her heart and soul into the job. Then, in the same conversation, she should tell him she has some personal news—she’s pregnant—and although she’ll need to take maternity leave, she’s ready to execute on her new responsibilities. She doesn’t need to tell Tom before he makes the offer. If she believes she can do the job, there is no reason to give him a chance to rethink her suitability. It’s up to Betsy to decide whether she wants to pursue this opportunity given her circumstances. And she has no obligation to inform Tom that she’s pregnant until she is comfortable doing so. But succeeding in business is all about relationships. Because she hasn’t worked with Tom before, she’ll need to build rapport early on. Being open about the pregnancy once she has the job is an investment in that connection. It will show Tom that she’s determined to make their relationship work. Certainly, having a child has the potential to change how one performs a job. Betsy will have new personal needs to address. But we all have obligations beyond work. If her mother were ill, would Tom decide not to offer her the position? If her husband were the one interviewing for the job, would anyone question his ability to do it well because he was going to become a father? Once Betsy has secured the job, there is no downside to disclosing the truth. If she demonstrates how carefully she has considered the impact the pregnancy and the baby will have on her ability to fill the role, Tom will have no cause to regret his offer. However, if he reacts negatively or shows discomfort, she will gain some useful insight. She can then ask herself whether she wants to work for a boss who doesn’t trust her to successfully balance her personal and professional lives. Betsy has an opportunity to educate her boss about what it’s like to be a young woman in business. Over my 37 years at Ernst & Young, I’ve worked with some incredibly talented female employees who helped me to look at the world through their eyes. That has given me an opportunity to understand work life in a different way and has made me a better leader. Once Betsy has secured the job, there is no downside to disclosing the truth. Our senior executives set the tone and encourage discussion of issues like this so that other leaders will know how to think through situations and make better decisions. Our current and past chairmen have both been vocal proponents of women’s issues, supporting rising female leaders and sharing their own points of view on various matters as they arise. If Caston’s leaders are sending the same messages, Tom will support Betsy in making the transition to her new position and becoming a working mother. If they aren’t, and Tom balks, she may want to help senior leaders understand that it’s their duty to create a more compassionate workplace for women executives—or she may want to look for a different place to work.

When to Make Private News Public

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