I started writing when I was 13 years old. As a teenager, people gave me only positive feedback about my writing. I was told I was talented, a great storyteller, precocious, and creative. When it came to writing, I never changed one word. No one ever suggested I needed to. Once I entered the workforce, and got my first job, a news writer offered to read some of my stories. He said he was happy to provide me with “feedback.” Until that moment, I’d thought of feedback as someone agreeing to read my work, give me praise, and then repeat the process the next time around. But a few days later, he returned with papers in his hand. They were printed versions of the stories I’d emailed him. “Don’t be alarmed. There’s a lot of red,” he warned. Red? I thought. As in red ink to mark up my stories? As you probably could guess, the feedback was mostly negative. Dozens of notes about pacing, conciseness, balance, redundancy, urgency, and conversational tone. At the time, his feedback felt like a punch in the stomach, and I didn’t hear much during our talk. I was surprised and hurt that my writing garnered the need for so much … well, negative feedback. Now, I can see that his negative feedback was really honest and constructive advice. And since that initial gut punch, I’ve learned how to navigate negative feedback. In fact, I see it as a major part of my professional growth and iterative mindset. If you’re wondering how to deal with negative feedback, here are some tips that might help. First, know that it’s human to feel offended, insecure, defensive—or even the urge to end the conversation when you hear critical feedback. It can be uncomfortable. (Think of the flight or fight response.) But you don’t have to automatically react just because your emotions say you should. Second, accept that negative feedback can be—and often is—a good thing. As organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich explains, negative feedback helps us critically look at our own performance and signals us to make needed changes. Finally, make an action plan. What next steps can directly stem from the feedback? How can it help you improve? Set up regular check-ins. Be adaptable. Seek external, diverse voices. If you’re interested in getting the most out of negative feedback, here are some articles that can help you reframe, respond, and take action. Recommended Reads The Right Way to Process Feedback by Cameron Conaway It’s okay to reflect and take your time. Stop Softening Tough Feedback by Dane Jensen and Peggy Baumgartner People need to know what’s at stake. How to Ask for Feedback that Will Actually Help by Peter Bregman Tip #1: Let people know you want the truth. What Good Feedback Really Looks Like by Craig Chappelow and Cindy McCauley Not all feedback is quality, and harsh words can do more damage than good. Feedback Isn’t Enough to Help Your Employees Grow by Peter Bregman and Howie Jacobson How do you deliver feedback that sparks new insights and helps people improve? Like what you see? This article is adapted from our weekly newsletter.
